This is the Only Metal Pipes Buying Guide You’ll Ever Need
Metal pipes go in and out of fashion. You probably already know this. In fact, they go in and out of fashion as frequently as hairstyles.
You probably thought you were rocking an awesome Justin Bieber do 10 years ago, only to start seeing people sporting beards and shaving large chunks of their hair. You would not want to be stuck with a Justin Bieber mop top hairdo precisely at the point in time where people started sporting mohawks or, worse yet, man buns.
I raise this fairly humorous example to highlight the fact that fashions do go in and out. In fact, depending on what you’re looking at, it seems that fashion flashes in and out of existence very rapidly.
Now, metal pipes have always been susceptible to changing fashions and tastes. The good news with metal pipes is that you don’t have to wait long for them to get back in fashion.
There’s something about them that people can’t seem to shake off. There’s a distinct set of qualities that they bring to the table that people prefer. This is why metal pipes, for whatever failings they may bring, will never completely exit the scene.
You can bet, just like the Terminator 2 robot, that regardless of how many people laugh at metal pipes or dismiss them altogether, they will come back. And better yet, they come back stronger, faster and with better shapes and designs.
Why Shop for Metal Pipes
So what is it exactly about metal pipes that make them particularly vulnerable to going in and out of fashion? Why do people, in equal measures, get excited about them and then turn around and dump them?
Is there something about their design? Is there something about their construction? Is there something about the components that they are made of that trigger this type of fashion wishy-washy thinking?
Well, it’s anybody’s guess. But if I were to bet money on it, it’s probably going to be either one of the following three factors, or a combination of all of them.
First, metal pipes, regardless of how well they’re designed, have a certain industrial look. Either they came out of some sort of jeweler’s workshop or they came out of a machine shop. Whatever the case may be, they look like they were machined.
Now, generally speaking, this is not a liability, but given the heavy emphasis on customization, environmentally-friendly designs, and “back to nature” design ethics, it’s easy to see why products that have a distinct industrial look that they can’t seem to shake off become vulnerable to the passing whims of fashion.
Another thing to consider is the high tech polished design of most pipes. Now, of course, there’s a tremendous amount of variation here. There are pipes that are made out of bronze and they have this classic look. Some even look like antiques with green exposed copper parts.
Still, regardless of what shape they’re in, there is a high tech polished design element there. This is hard to shake off. Again, this can make pipes very popular, but it can also just as quickly put them out of fashion.
Finally, metal pipes, in a large part, and I’m not talking about across the board here, have this spare and minimalist look to them. There’s something beautiful about minimalism. There’s something profoundly attractive about designs that don’t try to prove themselves.
They’re not out to make a statement. They’re not out to say things or project things that are beyond their capacity. They’re not trying to be something they’re not.
Now, this sounds awesome on paper, but let’s face it, there are certain times in a decade, and sometimes even within a single year, where people are looking for extra. People are looking for fantasy. People are looking for designs that are out to prove something. And when that happens, minimalist and spartan designs fall by the wayside.
Keep this in Mind When Buying Metal Pipes
Now that you have a clear idea of the consumer realities behind metal pipe’s varying popularity throughout the years, focus on the following items so you can increase the likelihood that you would make a truly informed decision.
This increases the chances that you are going to hang on to your metal pipe for the long haul. Regardless of whatever is in fashion, you are going to hang on to it and keep smoking whatever substances you put into it and have yourself a grand old time.
When buying metal pipes, pay attention to it. Now, it may seem like you’re buying an item that weighs a few grams at most, but believe me, if you buy something that’s heavy enough, it’s going to feel like a chore lugging that thing around. Sure, it’s very small and compact and has a small form factor, but you would not really want to carry something heavy in your pants or your purse. You already have other stuff there.
Another key element to look for when buying metal pipes involves their treatment of resin. As much as possible, look for a pipe that has a metallic surface that is hard for resin to stick to. Here’s a hint: the more pits or grooves appear on a metal surface, the higher the chance that resin or any other foreign material will stick to that surface.
If you want to clean your pipe, you have to be able to get to hard to reach areas very quickly. It’s very difficult to do this if you have a pipe that is a unibody construction or isn’t disassembled at all.
Even if you buy a model that can theoretically be disassembled, you need to insist on easy disassembly, otherwise, it’s going to be too much of a hassle to clean. Given enough time, you end up with a very stinky pipe that you just have to get rid of if you don’t want to draw unnecessary attention from the authorities.
Non-Metallic Smoke “Taste”
One common problem smoking aficionados have with metal pipes is that at some point in time, the taste that you get when you draw from these pipes has a metallic aftertaste. It may be in your mind, but keep in mind that there is some objective taste out there that triggers that mental association. If you have an issue with chemical-tasting smoke or metallic-tasting smoke, you might want to experiment with many different metal pipes until you get to the right model.
Make no mistake about it, you probably are going to be smoking at a wide variety of outdoor functions. If that’s the case, then you need to be able to carry around your metal pipe in a very discreet way. Insist on a compact form.
When was the last time you put your lips on a metal pipe and ended up burning yourself? Chances are, it’s happened more frequently that you’d like. This is due, of course, to bad design. In particular, improper insulation. Look for proper insulation and you can kiss this problem goodbye.
Easy Clean Up
This really is joined at the hip with easy disassembly. If the pipe that you are using is made out of metal and can be easily unscrewed and pulled apart, chances are, it’s also easy to clean up. This then leads to less resin smell and boosts the overall discreet nature of your smoking implement.
There’s nothing more annoying than lighting a metal pipe that is red-hot in one part of the bow and ice-cold everywhere else. This means that you are going to be puffing and puffing for a long time and burning a lot of fuel. Also, it may make you more vulnerable to authorities that are looking for people smoking from small, discreet pipes. Do you see where I’m going with this? Good.
As much as possible, look for metal pipes that are thick enough. You want metal pipes that have some sort of impression. Metal thickness can definitely go a long way in helping you make the right impression, especially if you’re smoking with total strangers or people you’d like to impress.